and so it was... i'm addicted to smoking.. something that i'm not proud of. i use to smoke when socializing with peoples, going to party and stuff. but i never got addicted. why now?? what happen to me?
then it struck me, i started having this craving after i was with S few weeks ago. i lay down beside him and for a moment i feel that T was there again. i know its not fair for S, and its unethical for me to actually have a thought like that, but i know he wont mind.... that night i had my first cigarette after a long time with S. and so it was.. my brain connects the nice feeling i had when i lay beside S with the cigarette.. thats how i end up with this endless craving.. the cigarette itself have a calming effect....
i told S about the craving. well, his been very supportive of me quitting before its too late....
then it struck me, i started having this craving after i was with S few weeks ago. i lay down beside him and for a moment i feel that T was there again. i know its not fair for S, and its unethical for me to actually have a thought like that, but i know he wont mind.... that night i had my first cigarette after a long time with S. and so it was.. my brain connects the nice feeling i had when i lay beside S with the cigarette.. thats how i end up with this endless craving.. the cigarette itself have a calming effect....
i told S about the craving. well, his been very supportive of me quitting before its too late....
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